T.G.I.P. (Thank God It's Phaneuf)

It's been a dreary and emotional hockey Friday for everyone - Olie Kolzig, Caps fans, the organization, etc. - so to close out the week on an up tick and keep it hockey-related, here's a picture of Dion Phaneuf on vacation:


What? That's his arm. And no, I didn't get the pic from here.

How Much Green For Green?

What better way to honor today's national holiday than with a discussion about dead presidents (and lots of 'em)?

With a pair of Alexes signed, sealed and delivering, a portion of the off-ice attention of Caps fans has turned to the task of re-signing the team's other Restricted Free Agents, namely Mike Green, Shaone Morrisonn, Boyd Gordon, Eric Fehr and Brooks Laich. Most of those guys should be relatively easy to lock up, but one - Green - may present something of a challenge in that it's difficult to determine precisely how much "potential" is worth.

Drafted 29th overall in 2004, Green is having a breakout season in his contract year of 2007-08 (coincidence? Probably). He leads all NHL blueliners in goals (15) and overtime tallies (3), is 12th in points (37), second in game-winning goals (3), fourth in power play goals (7) and fifth in shots on goal (152) - all this after racking up three goals, 12 assists and a minus-18 rating in his first 92 NHL games.

Green - who is 25 days younger than Alex Ovechkin - has really come into his own under head coach Bruce Boudreau, to the tune of 12 goals and 30 points in 39 games in a whopping 26:40 of ice time per game, an average that would rank him 4th in the League in TOI/G if it were his average on the season.

So what's Green worth?

Let's look at a couple of recent deals signed by young blueliners. Dion Phaneuf signed a 6-year/$39m ($6.5m per year) deal earlier in the month. Fedor Tyutin signed a 4-year/$11.375m ($2.8m per year) deal yesterday. You don't need to be Al Morganti to know that Green's deal will fall somewhere in between those two, so let's dig deeper.

Ryan Whitney inked for 6 years at $4m per year as an RFA last summer. Now we're getting somewhere. Whitney, the fifth overall pick in 2002, signed his deal after his second full NHL season, one in which he played 81 games, was sixth among blueliners in scoring with 14 goals and 45 helpers and posted a plus-nine rating. This followed a 68 game, 6 goal/32 assist, minus-seven campaign. In other words, Whitney had 149 games, 20 goals and 77 assists (and a playoff appearance) under his belt before signing his deal. Green, if he continues his "Boudreau pace" through the end of the season, he'll have around 174 games, 24 goals and 44 assists on his resume.

But contracts aren't rewards for what a player has done, they're predictions of what a player will do, and the sky seems to be the limit on what Green might be capable of. Just for fun, here's a quick look at blueliners who have led the League in goals since the beginning of this decade, and how many they had:

• 1999-00: Nicklas Lidstrom (20)
  
• 2000-01: Brian Leetch (21)
• 2001-02: Sergei Gonchar (26 - damn)
• 2002-03: Sergei Gonchar, Nicklas Lidstrom, Andy Delmore (18)
• 2003-04: Wade Redden, Pavel Kubina (17)
• 2005-06: Mathieu Schneider (21)
• 2007-08: Sheldon Souray (26)
  

Not a bad list of blueline bombers, and regardless of what you might think of this crew's abilities in their own zone, one thing is for sure - these guys have gotten paid (with the exception of the undrafted and inconsistent Delmore). Of course, they have gotten paid through unrestricted free agency or the threat thereof, something Mike Green doesn't have on his side.

Which brings us back to Whitney as a benchmark. He has the better pedigree than Green (5th overall vs. 29th, 3rd defenseman taken in his draft vs. 8th), but that doesn't mean much after a player's entry level contract expires. He will have had the more impressive pre-contract stats, but, like we said, contracts are predictions, not rewards. Mike Green, right now, is the better player of the two by most traditional measures - he has more goals and assists, four times as many hits, eight times as many takeaways - and is two-and-a-half years younger. With the salary cap set to rise another $3m or so and general contract inflation, it's highly likely that Green will make more, per annum, than Whitney.

So as we leave Ryan Whitney's neighborhood and drive north, the question is how far do we keep going? Mike Green is not Dion Phaneuf (though they do share an agent, one that prominently displays Green on its website as an indication of their perception of his value). Phaneuf is a guy who scored 20 goals as a rookie, has 48 goals, 93 assists and a plus-18 rating in his first 220 NHL games and hits like an eighteen-wheeler, so we don't get all that far. But Mike Green has shown that he's a capable puck-moving defenseman with fantastic speed and stickhandling who can play both the body and big minutes. He is a legitimate first-pairing blueliner when paired with the right partner, but can get out of his comfort zone otherwise. Most importantly, he's impressive as hell at just 22-years-old.

What's it going to take to keep Green in red, white and blue for the next few years? Given the team's salary structure - in which Alex Semin will make $4.6 million for each of the next two years - a four-year/$18-million deal should certainly get it done (the benefit of a four-year deal being that at the end thereof, he'd still have another year as an RFA), and if it didn't, I'd start preparing myself to accept the draft pick compensation that would be headed our way when Green leaves town. What do you think?

Saturday Roundup/Sabres 5, Caps 3Gamenight: Caps @ Bolts

[AP Recap - Game Summary - Super Stats - AP Preview - WashingtonCaps.com Preview]

This morning's post is more or less an open thread. Think Olie Kolzig cost the Caps a point (or two) on Friday night? Want to talk about how good Nicklas Backstrom is? Or which defenseman had the worst game? Or what Michael Nylander's return to the lineup means? Fire away on these or anything else in the comments.

Photo: AP

Daily Awards

• Hart: Dion Phaneuf (Game-winning goal, A, 3 SOG)
• Ross: Matt Cullen, Alexei Ponikarovsky, Nik Antropov, Brian Rolston (3 points each)
  
• Norris: Dion Phaneuf (Game-winning goal, A, 3 SOG)
  
• Vezina: Vesa Toskala (24-save shutout win)
  
• Richard: Alexei Ponikarovsky (2G)
  
• Calder: Josh Harding (W, 28 saves on 30 shots against)
  
• Aiken: J.-S. Giguere (L, 3 goals allowed on 9 shots against in 26:15 of work)
  

Friday Roundup/Gamenight: Sabres @ Caps

[AP Preview - WashingtonCaps.com Preview]

Since the lockout, the Caps have had a rough go of it against the Buffalo Sabres, tonight's opponent, posting a 2-8 record with only one win in the last nine meetings between the teams (that win, of course, being the infamous "checking from behind" game). In six of those nine games Buffalo lit the lamp at least five times. And I can't even use my go-to "But those were Glen Hanlon's Caps," since game three of the Bruce Boudreau era was a 3-1 home loss to the Sabres.

But those were Bruce Boudreau's Caps before he implemented his system (that dog'll hunt, right?).

At this point, I'm pretty confident that we know what we'll get from the Caps - a strong, confident effort that may or may not translate on the scoreboard. The Sabres, on the other hand, are a total crapshoot - their last six games include 8-1 and 7-1 wins, an 8-2 loss and a pair of 4-1 losses. Buffalo is still scoring in bunches, but they're giving up too many goals and have been every bit as mediocre overall as their .500 record would indicate. But their record is a little deceiving (at least as it applies to tonight's game), as they've managed a 7-4-0 record against Eastern Conference opponents not in the Northeast Division, including a 6-2-0 mark against the Southeast.

Still, it's impossible to predict which Sabre team will show up tonight - flip a coin... and bet the over.

Elsewhere 'Round the Rinks:

Tarik profiles Mike Green's breakout season in today's WaPo, and includes an interesting quote from GMGM (similar to one he had in Wednesday night's pregame show on Comcast): "You just never know when a player is going to break through. We thought it might be last year. But it seems to be happening this year." Question - how much of that was Hanlon and how much was Green, and if the former was a significant factor, has the development of other prospects been similarly stunted by having Hanlon at the helm for so long? Discuss.... Here's your Eric Fehr update (Jan), and it seems to be pretty good news.... Could the Caps have an embarrassment of riches on the blueline in a few years? Both Karl Alzner and Josh Godfrey made the Canadian World Junior team. Mathieu Perreault, however, was cut.... Speaking of the Caps Junior prospects, Hockey's Future provides an update on 'em.... The first player in Caps history to score on a penalty shot is being inducted into the Niagara Falls Sports Wall of Fame (slow news day, JP?).

Daily Awards

• Hart: Jarome Iginla (3G in the third period, including the game-winner, A, +5, 9 SOG)
  
• Ross: Dion Phaneuf, Kristian Huselius (5 points each)
  
• Norris: Dion Phaneuf (5A, +3, 3 SOG, 4 hits, 3 blocked shots)
  
• Vezina: Tomas Vokoun (33-save shutout win)
  
• Richard: Jarome Iginla, Kristian Huselius (3G each)
  
• Calder: Carey Price (31, 30 saves on 31 shots against)
  
• Aiken: Johan Holmqvist (4 goals allowed on 6 shots against in just 13:05 of work)
  

Wednesday Roundup

Zzzzzz... Would someone kindly wake me when it's time to drop the puck again? Thanks.

Elsewhere 'Round the Rinks:

There's more fallout on Joe Finley's alleged mascot abuse. Seriously. The WCHA commissioner has now weighed in. The punishment? Finley must write a letter of apology to Bucky Badger. (h/t to DPlaya at Hockey in Wisconsin for the link).... Travis Morin is headed back to the ECHL after a brief two-game stint in Hershey in which he failed to find his way onto the score sheet.... Caps goaltending prospect Michal Neuvirth has been traded to Windsor.... The uniforms for this season's All-Star game (the voting for which is now open) have been revealed and, well, they're probably pretty much what you'd expect.... A handful of power rankings are out with the Caps at 28th (ahead of Buffalo?!), 28th, 28th, 29th, 29th, 30th and 30th.... Finally, on this date in 1979 the Caps tapped Gary Green to be the sixth head coach in team history (and, at just 26 years old, Green was the youngest head coach to ever stand behind an NHL bench).

Daily Awards

• Hart: Ilya Kovalchuk (Game-winning OT goal, 2A, +1, 6 SOG)
  
• Ross: Ilya Kovalchuk, Alexander Frolov, Alexei Kovalev (3 points each)
  
• Norris: Dion Phaneuf (G, 3 SOG, 4 hits, 3 takeaways)
  
• Vezina: Miikka Kiprusoff (W, 26 saves on 28 shots against)
  
• Richard: Mikko Koivu, David Perron, Kyle Wellwood (2G each)
  
• Calder: David Perron (2G, +1, 2 SOG)
  
• Aiken: Bryan McCabe (Here's why)
  

Wednesday Roundup

The long-awaited Joe Motzko profile has finally arrived (in stereo, no less!). Rejoice, Mrs. Motzko.

Elsewhere 'Round the Rinks:

Good stuff on Karl Alzner and WHL road trips here.... I hadn't heard of the Karjala Cup before yesterday, but Semen Varlamov was one of the goaltenders named to the Russian team for the four-team tourney.... If you're hoping to watch ladies play hockey at the Verizon Center this Saturday, are you ever in luck. First the Universities of Delaware and Virginia women's teams take to the ice at 2:00, then Sidney Crosby's girl scout troop faces the Caps at 7:00.... More power rankings, with the CP and FoxSports.com chiming in.... By now you've probably seen Bryan McCabe's game-winner from the other night, but if you'd like a little more comic relief courtesy of the Leafs' $5.75 million blueliner, check out his smooth skating as well as this highlight reel (sorry, Darcy Tucker, we're not cutting him any slack).... It's never too early to scoreboard watch and three-point games between likely Eastern Conference playoff bubble teams are no good.

Daily Awards

• Hart: Tomas Vokoun (36 saves on 37 shots against in 2-1 shootout win at Montreal)
  
• Ross: Paul Stastny, Jarome Iginla (3 points each)
  
• Norris: Dion Phaneuf (G, +2, 3 SOG, 5 hits, 2 takeaways, 1 blocked shot)
  
• Vezina: Martin Biron (31-save shutout win)
  
• Richard: Jarome Iginla (2G)
  
• Calder: Noah Welch (fight!)
  
• Aiken: Bobby Holik (0 points, -4 in 4-0 loss).
  

Dinner With This Year's Top Draft Prospects

Thanks to Jes for forwarding me a copy of the NHL Entry Draft Media Guide for 2007 (which apparently anyone can download here - warning: PDF). Rather than go all Mel Kiper on you (at this point, at least), I figured I'd help you get to know some of these kids, and what better way to get to know them than to see which three people they'd most like to have dinner with?

If you want some raw data, skip to the bottom. Otherwise, here they are, by prospect, in alphabetical order (with a little added info, where appropriate):

• Akim Aliu - nicknamed "Dream," Akim is trying to become the first Nigerian-born NHLer. Hopefully he finds the same success in North America as another similarly-named African-born gent (him or him - take your pick). As for his dinner guests, Bobby Orr, Steve Yzerman and Gordie Howe.
• Jean-Simon Allard - Mario Lemieux, Wayne Gretzky and President George Bush. Does he mean Bush 41 or Bush 43? Because if it's the former, yeah, that would be an awesome dinner, but the latter? Not sure they'd have a lot to talk about.)
• Aaron Alphonso - Sacha Baron Cohen, Tiger Woods, Muhammad Ali
• Karl Alzner - Scott Niedermayer, Owen Wilson, Taylor Swift.
• Keith Aulie - Gretzky, Jessica Simpson and Sidney Crosby because "they are all amazing people." Indeed.
• Roman Bashkirov - Maria Sharapova (pictured). That's it. Well played.
• Ruslan Bashkirov - Roman's twin brother, he would see his brother's Sharapova and raise him a Gretzky and a Vladimir Putin for dinner.
• Jamie Benn - Joe Sakic, Gretzky, Babe Ruth
• Ben Blood - Orr, Vince Vaughn, Herb Brooks
• Jon Blum - Woods, Lance Armstrong, Simpson
• Nick Bonino - Larry David, Bush, Brendan Shanahan
• Robert Bortuzzo - Orr, Armstrong, Bob Probert
• Drayson Bowman - Armstrong, Lemieux, Kiefer Sutherland
• T.J. Brennan - his dad, Dion Phaneuf, Woods
• Bryan Cameron - Yzerman, Andrew Raycroft ("to learn how to
  score more goals"), Will Ferrell
• Max Campbell - Pavel Bure, Gretzky, Adam Sandler
• Trevor Cann - Gretzky, Yzerman, Armstrong
• Luca Caputi - Richard Simmons (pictured), Simpson, Freddie Mercury. Best answer yet, by far (and I see where you're going with your invites, Luca... crafty).
• Paul Carey - Armstrong, Bono, Al Gore. Apparently we're into the tree hugger portion of the alphabet.
• Jordy Christian - Woods, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr.
• Andrew Clark - Yzerman
• Colby Cohen - Donovan McNabb, Chris Pronger, John LeClair. Cohen is Jeremy Bloom's cousin and, as you can probably tell from his dinner guests, a Philly guy.
  
• Ian Cole - Woods, Keith Magnuson, Ali
• Logan Couture - Willis McGahee, Barry Bonds, Evangeline Lilly
• Tommy Cross - Nicklas Lidstrom, Bush, his mom (Cross's, not Bush's)
• Jeff Desjardins - his dad, his junior coach, Rod Brind'Amour
• Jack Downing - Kate Beckinsale (pictured), Pavel Datsyuk, LeBron James
• Eric Doyle - Orr, Ferrell, Terry Fox
• Keaton Ellerby (Shane Doan's cousin) - Orr, Ray Bourque
• Reid Ellingson - Brooks, Gretzky, Martin Brodeur
• Taylor Ellington - Elvis Presley, Ferrell, Lemieux
• Travis Erstad - Gretzky, Sakic, Armstrong
• Angelo Esposito - Sutherland, Phil Esposito (no relation), Armstrong
• Mitch Fadden - Sakic, Yzerman, Gretzky
• Justin Falk - Woods, Orr, Bourque
• Matt Fillier - Yzerman, Kenny Chesney, Woods
• Olivier Fortier - Gretzky, Armstrong, Yzerman
• Sam Gagner - Gretzky, Orr, Yzerman
• T.J. Galiardi - Gretzky, Armstrong, Donovan Bailey
• Colton Gillies (Clark's nephew) - Armstrong, Mel Gibson, Halle Berry
• Andrew Glass - Orr, Gretzky, Kiera Knightley
• Maxim Gratchev - Sergei Fedorov, Jim Carrey (the actor, though spelled incorrectly in the Guide), Vince Lombardi
• Jake Hansen - Peter Forsberg, Brodeur, Crosby
• Thomas Hickey - Armstrong, Don Cherry, Rachel McAdams
• Mike Hoeffel - Zach Parise, Roger Federer, Brittany Snow
• Patrick Kane - his grandpa, Gretzky, Woods
• Mark Katic - his grandpa, Orr, Bill Barilko
• Daniel Kelly - Scott Stevens, Vaughn, Simpson
• Mario Kempe - his grandmother, Sandler, Lemieux
• Blake Kessel - his brother Phil, Lidstrom, Orr
• Josh Kidd - Woods, Orr, Michael Jordan
• Alexander Killorn - Gretzky, Ferrell, Ali
• Dwight King - Armstrong, Gretzky, Jessica Alba (pictured)
• Jordan Knackstedt - Gretzky, Pamela Anderson, Chesney
• Antoine LaFleur - Lemieux, Roberto Luongo, Crosby (at a French restaurant, no doubt)
• Matt Lahey - Carey (again, sic... I assume), Vaughn, Ferrell
• Nick Larson - Woods, Armstrong, Yzerman
• Drew LeBlanc - Gretzky, Sylvester Stallone ("because of the character he portrayed in the Rocky Series," so presumably he'd have to be in character throughout the meal,) Kennedy
• John Lee - Gretzky, Orr, Chris Chelios
• Brett Leffler - Woods, Chris Farley, Eva Longoria
• Stefan Legein - Gretzky, Armstrong, Harry Houdini (pictured)
• Spencer Machacek - Gretzky, Doug Gilmour, Carrie Underwood
• Drew Mackenzie - Mark Messier, Gretzky, Howe
• Brett MacLean - Gretzky, Orr, Lemieux
• LoganMacMillan - Wahsontiio Stacey, Jordan, Mike Tyson
• Brad Malone (Ryan's cousin) - Woods, Bill Gates, Tom Brady
• Kevin Marshall - Maurice Richard, Chelios
• Matt Marshall - Federer, Jordan, Lemiuex
• Justin McCrae - Armstrong, Gretzky, Woods
• Ryan McDonagh - Gretzky, Bush, Jordan
• Radek Meidl - Gretzky, Jaromir Jagr, Lemieux
• Charles-Antoine Messier - Gretzky, Mike Bossy, Federer
• Dale Mitchell - Paul Kariya, Wayne Rooney, Denzel Washington
• Riley Nash - Yzerman, Bush, Orr
• John Negrin - Woods, Orr, Yzerman
• James O'Brien - Yzerman, Woods, Gretzky
• Max Pacioretty - Jeremey Shockey, Jordan, Messier
• Nick Palmierei - Sakic, Gretzky, Ali
• Aaron Palushaj - Lemieux, Armstrong, Lombardi
• David Perron - Alexei Kovalev, Orr, Gretzky
• Nicholas Petrecki - Messier, Pronger, Woods
• Brad Phillips - Gretzky, Sandler, Brady
• Casey Pierro-Zabotel - Gretzky, Yzerman, Lemieux
• Alex Plante - Cherry, Ferrell, Larry the Cable Guy
• Paul Postma - Orr, David Beckham (pictured), Jesus
• Brent Regner - Niedermayer, Carey (for the love of Pete, the actor has two r's in his name, the flash-in-the-pan goalie has one), Woods
• Mickey Renaud - Mats Sundin, Carmen Electra, Anderson
• Michael Repik - Jagr, Gretzky, Paris Hilton
• Nick Ross - Gretzky, Terrell Owens, Chuck Liddell (did you know that T.O.'s middle name is Eldorado? Wonder where he was conceived...)
• Linden Rowat - his grandfather, Gretzky, Ferrell
• Ted Ruth - George Washington ("the first President" - thanks), Alexander the Great (unclear whether he means this one or this one), Orr
• Ben Ryan - his brother, Jordan, Scotty Bowman
  
• Nico Sacchetti - Vaughn, Sandler, Dane Cook
• Colton Sceviour - Yzerman, Gretzky, Swift
• C.J. Severyn - his grandfather, Gretzky, Bush
• Tyson Sexsmith - Armstrong, Simpson (pictured), Andy Roddick
• Kevin Shattenkirk - Achilles, Albert Einstein, Jordan
• David Skokan - Gretzky, Sakic
• Brendan Smith - Shanahan, Ferrell, Gore
• Jeremy Smith - his grandfather, Einstein, Kennedy
• Brett Sonne - Yzerman, Simpson, God
• Nick Spaling - Gretzky, Yzerman, Alexander Ovechkin
• Joe Stejskal - Federer, John McEnroe, Zdeno Chara
• David Stich - Gretzky, Armstrong
• P.K. Subban - Orr, Jordan, Bowman
• Brandon Sutter (Brent's son) - Orr, McAdams, Chesney
• Bill Sweatt - Gretzky, Woods, Derrek Lee
• Eric Tangratti - G. Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Bush
• Maxime Tanguay (Alex's brother) - Gretzky, Armstrong (pictured), Woods
• Paul Thompson - his grandmother, Gretzky, Sandler
• Corey Tropp - Bowman, Datsyuk, Darren McCarty (guess who he's hoping drafts him)
• Kyle Turris - Ali, Armstrong (wait, Neil, not Lance), Yzerman
• Dana Tyrell - his grandfather, Orr, Cherry
• James vanRiemsdyk - Gretzky, Colin Wilson and Brennan Vargas (JvR's roommates)
• Kevin Veilleux - Joe Thornton, Gretzky, Sakic
• Jakub Voracek - Alba, Ronaldhino, Gates
• Yannick Weber - Woods, Heidi Klum, Federer
• Patrick White - Brooks, Donald Trump, L. Armstrong
• Ben Winnett - Darcy Tucker, Charles Barkley, Gretzky

Top Five Hockey Players Chosen:

1. Gretzky (46)
2. Orr (21)
3. Yzerman (17)
4. Lemieux (9)
5. Sakic (6)
   

Top Six Non-Hockey Athletes Chosen:

1. Woods/Armstrong (20)
2. Ali/Federer (5)
3. Brady/Sharapova (2)
   

Top Six Actors Chosen:

1. Ferrell (8)
2. Sandler (5)
3. Vaughn (4)
4. Alba/Sutherland (2)

Top Five Women Chosen:

1. Simpson (pictured, 6)
2. Sharapova, Alba, McAdams, Anderson (2)
   

Top Five Non-Athlete/Entertainers Chosen:

1. Bush (7)
2. Kennedy (3)
3. G. Washington, Gore, Gates (2)

NHL Playoffs Drinking Game

As the hockey gets ever more serious by the day, so does the drinking. So whether you need to take the edge off while watching your team play or drown your sorrows because your team's season is done, grab the beverage of your choice, follow these simple rules, and enjoy the games (both on and off the ice). Oh, and if some of these rules don't apply by the time you read this, feel free to swap guys out like you're Bob Hartley.

Player Category - drink when:

1. Sidney Crosby snaps his head back to try to draw a call.
2. Ryan Miller makes a save look harder than it is.
3. Mike Sillinger loses a faceoff or Robert Lang wins one.
4. Dion Phaneuf rips a one-timer wide of the net.
5. Colby Armstrong tries to take someone's head off (drink three times if he succeeds in doing so).
6. Any Nashville Predator takes a diving penalty.
7. Alexei Yashin gets a shift.
8. You find yourself cursing Sean Avery.
9. Mike Modano does something - anything.
10. You find yourself dozing off during a Canucks/Stars game... and not because it's a late game.
11. A player's stick breaks doing something that shouldn't break a stick that costs that much money.

Coach Category - drink when:

1. You can hear Ron Wilson whistle for a line change.
2. Bryan Murray looks like someone kicked his dog.
3. When Bob Hartley- oh... nevermind.
4. Bryan Murray looks like he's ready to kick someone else's dog.
5. John Tortorella smiles sarcastically.
6. You can see Barry Trotz's neck (this rule is here so mormons can play along and follow only this rule).
7. Lou Lamoriello fires someone (finish your drink if/when he fires himself).
8. Jim Playfair is out-coached.

Television Category - drink when:

1. "Let's go, girls!" ad runs on Versus.
2. Joe Benanati Sub-Category - drink when Joe B.:
1. Notes a player's national origin or at which U.S. college he played.
2. Uses either the phrase "full and even strength" or "a man to the good."
3. Tells the viewers how much time "separates us from our [corporate sponsor] NHL on Versus intermission report."
4. Says "soccer styles it" rather than "kicks it."
3. Announcer uses the word "brink" or "stranglehold" (drink twice if not in a Game 4 setting).
4. There's an awkward moment in the Versus/NBC studio and it's totally Bill Clement's fault.
5. Announcer mentions how far apart, time-wise, Daniel and Henrik Sedin were born.
6. Impossibly young player's impossibly bad facial hair is shown on TV.
7. Announcer mentions what a winner Chris Drury is (drink twice if the words "Trumbull" and "Connecticut" are mentioned).
8. Drink nothing when Brian Engblom hedges on a prediction. We're all for having a good time, but no need to send anyone to the hospital.
9. Brett Hull looks like he's been eating well since retiring, doesn't he? Not a rule, just an observation.
10. Announcer mentions any of the following players as trying to shed a certain reputation (drink four times if the word "choker" is used): Marty Turco, Pavel Datsyuk, Daniel Alfredsson, Joe Thornton.

Now the fun part - it's your turn to add some rules. What've you got?

Sunday Pucks Brunch: Hockey Notes From Saturday Night

[Note: Sunday Pucks Brunch is a new weekly feature here at The Rink that will recap the hot topics, news and notes from around the NHL with a focus on the previous evening's Mainstream Media (MSM) coverage. In other words, go out and have fun on Saturday night - Sunday morning we'll let you know what you missed. Feel free to comment on anything contained herein or anything else in the hockey world, as well as how you like your eggs and what sides you'd like with them.

I'd also like to take the opportunity to introduce KB as a Rink contributor. Have at it, Ken. - JP]

Given all of the discussion about the Colton Orr/Todd Fedoruk shot heard round the world, it was little surprise that the Hockey Night In Canada (HNIC) pre-game show would focus on fighting in the NHL. Beginning with an interview with Detroit winger Todd Bertuzzi, followed by a chippy conversation between HNIC Host Ron MacLean and NHL Senior VP Colin Campbell, and ending with a Sun Tzu-themed intro to the Buffalo/Toronto game, violence was Topic A.

In the interview, a stoic Bertuzzi disclosed that Florida did not offer him a new contract “nor did they ever intend to.” Wings' head coach Mike Babcock was optimistic about his team’s acquisition of Bertuzzi. Babcock defended the move and the wisdom of offering him a third chance in Detroit by saying, “In my coaching career I’ve done and said a lot of stupid things.” And when asked whether he had changed as a person since the incident in Vancouver, the ever contrite Bertuzzi responded, “I’m still me.”

The usually patient and prudent Ron MacLean was downright feisty in his 15-minute interview with Colin Campbell. MacLean expressed open disbelief (“You’ve got to be kidding”) at hearing that NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman has “never talked about whether fighting should be in the game or should not be in the game,” dismissed the league’s solution of having the Competition Committees look into banning fighting as a “cop-out,” and accused Coh-lin Campbell of resorting to “corporate speak” in trying to evade serious discussion. The CBC has an account here.

For many, the highlight of any Saturday night of hockey-watching is Don Cherry's “Coach's Corner,” and for these folks, Saturday night's segment did not disappoint. Wearing a necktie with doves and olive branches, the sartorially subtle Cherry made viewers aware of his inner pacifist while holding court. (Perhaps it was the peace cravate that prevented him from delivering his usual shout-out to the troops.) He defended his “friend,” Cah-lin Campbell, against MacLean's malice. (Alliteration abounds!) Grapes also came to the aid of beleaguered Leafs' goalie Andrew Raycroft saying, “You’re out of your mind blaming Raycroft. The Leafs are 28th in the league on the PK.” You can watch Coach's Corner, complete with an archival clip of a softer Cherry from 1991, and read a press account of his comments here.

[Ed. note: Chris Zelkovich from the Toronto Star reviews the performance in today's edition, 3/26.]

In the “Satellite Hot Stove” segment, Eric Duhatschek claimed that Jarome Iginla has flip-flopped on the instigator rule and now wants to see it removed. He also stated that Keith Primeau will ask that stick infractions be penalized as significantly as fighting infractions. In news about actual hockey, Duhatschek reports that Henrik Zetterberg is skating with the Red Wings and is on target to return next week. Red Wings’ coach Mike Babcock has spoken to Dominik Hasek about his Louganis against Calgary and they’ve reached an accord. (Apparently Leafs’ coach Paul Maurice isn’t nearly as agreeable, suggesting that Babcock is making “all of us coaches look bad by telling the truth.”)

Asked who will win this year’s Hart trophy, Scott Morrison said he was leaning toward Roberto Luongo, Pierre LeBrun believes Joe Thornton is making a strong case, and Duhatschek said it would be, “[Sidney] Crosby in a walk.”

Kelly Hrudey reported that Edmonton netminder Jussi Markkanen will not be returning to Edmonton next season. Hrudey also told of an unnamed professional scout who watched Nashville blueliner Shea Weber in Kelowna and predicted that the 2nd round pick (49th overall) will be a better player than Dion Phaneuf (1st round pick, ninth overall).

The CBC broadcast of the Leafs’ game busted highlighted Toronto pivot Kyle Wellwood’s self-described “semi-legal” face off technique, in which he uses his right skate to block his opponent’s stick as the puck is dropped.

---------

Lines of the Night:

• First star: “The Leafs’ coaches must be throwing up behind the bench right now.” - Harry Neale
• Second star: “We [Gary Bettman and I] have never discussed fighting in hockey.” - Colin Campbell
• Third star: “Zubov, Zubrus. Same thing.” - Don Cherry
  

---------
Islanders' forwards Richard Zednik and Miroslav Satan are both listed as day-to-day for personal reasons. According to a Saturday afternoon post in the Newsday blog, Coach Ted Nolan referred to both players and said, “We’re a family-oriented team, and both guys are where they should be.”...Red Wings’ D Brett Lebda sustained a concussion and was taken off the ice on a stretcher after being checked into the glass by St. Louis' Ville Nieminen. He will be out 7-10 days... Thrashers’ F Jon Sim underwent surgery to repair a broken left orbital bone suffered in a fight with San Jose's Mark Bell and is out indefinitely... Dallas' D Stephane Robidas missed his fourth straight game and is expected to return to lineup within the next week... Capitals’ Ben Clymer will not return this season and will be undergoing sports hernia surgery this week... Detroit’s D Chris Chelios moved into ninth place on the NHL's career games list with 1,541, passing Johnny Bucyk... Pierre LeBrun reports that Jacques Martin has the inside track on coaching Team Canada in the 2007 World Championships...NY Rangers’ C Michael Nylander scored his 600th career NHL point against the Bruins... Flyers’ D Joni Pitkanen played in his 200th NHL game... Canadiens’ D Sheldon Souray played his 500th regular-season game and became the first Montreal defenseman to reach 60 points since Chelios had 73 points in 1988-89... Rick Vaive, Toronto’s first 50-goal scorer, was introduced to the ACC crowd to commemorate the 25-year anniversary of his feat... Vince Papale, former Philadelphia Eagle and the bio behind the Marky Mark pic, “Invincible,” visited New York's locker room after the game wearing an Islanders jersey... Buffalo is 33-0-0 this season when leading a game by two or more goals at any point... Pittsburgh has a winning record against every division this season except the Southeast... The Florida Panthers are 13-4-3 at home since Dec. 25th... Edmonton had its 73d consecutive sellout, dating back to Nov. 29, 2005... The Minnesota Wild set franchise records for home wins (26) and total points (97)... Four NHL games were decided in shootouts Saturday and the visiting team won each. The road teams have now moved into the lead (149-148) since the NHL adopted the shootout.

Sources: AP, CBC, Comcast, Elias Sports Bureau, FSN, NESN, OGP, SUN Sports, TSN

Market Price Update: Jamie Heward?

The Thrashers bolstered their blueline last night, acquiring Alexei Zhitnik from the Flyers in exchange for 2003 #8 overall pick Braydon Coburn. Zhitnik - who has two years remaining on his current contract at $3.5 million per year and will be 35 in October - will help the Thrasher power-play in the short-term (and I guess for the next two years), but at the price of the player taken with the pick before Dion Phaneuf?

And while Caps' d-man Jamie Heward is not Alexei Zhitnik, let's take a quick look at the numbers:

• Heward ($675,000 salary in 2006-07, UFA after this season): 51 games played, 4 goals, 11 assists, +3, 27 PIMs, 47 SOG in 16:21 of ice time per game.

• Zhitnik ($2,136,000 salary in 2006-07, $3,500,000 salary in 2007-08 and 2008-09): 61 games played, 5 goals, 19 assists, -3, 78 PIMs, 110 SOG in 23:35 of ice time per game.

Point being, Atlanta overpaid for Zhitnik and will likely wish they hadn't come next year and the year after. Zhitnik isn't terribly good and there were (and are) other, cheaper options out there that come at a lower risk and offer a similar reward.

It continues to be a seller's market - at least if the buyer on the other side is Don Waddell.

Sunday Roundup/Gameday: Caps @ Pens

[NHL.com Preview - WashingtonCaps.com Preview]

In case you haven't heard, the Caps and Pens will be facing off this afternoon on national television. The Pens enter the game with a 15-game point streak (13-0-2), while the Caps... well... not so much (though they have gotten at least one point out of four of their last five games). Washington's Alexes have gone cold, as Alex Ovechkin has only one goal in his last six games and Alex Semin has only one goal in his last eight outings, and the team is getting absolutely no offensive help from the blueline. Consider:

• Caps defensemen have combined for just 16 goals on the season in more than 377 man-games (Ben Clymer played several games on defense, but did not score a goal), four fewer than Habs' rearguard Sheldon Souray has in 59 games.
• Jamie Heward's two power-play goals and Brian Pothier's one tally with the extra man are the only special teams goals scored by the Caps defensemen so far this year. Thirty-eight NHL defensemen have three or more special teams goals individually.
• The Caps' entire d-corps has 28 power-play points. So does Sergei Zubov. Sheldon Souray, Sergei Gonchar and Dan Boyle all have more.
• Pothier leads the blueline in assists with 18, 41st among NHL defensemen, despite playing with two of the League's top-11 goal scorers.
  

Yes, the Caps tend to use four forwards on the power-play, thereby limiting opportunities for defensemen to get points thereon, and there are several slumping forwards who aren't helping the D much either (paging Brian Sutherby). But any way you cut it, those stats are pretty bleak, and until the team starts getting better production from the blueline - better breakout passes, more shots at the net for rebounds, etc. - the team will likely continue to struggle to score.

As always, get all your previews from around the Cap-o-sphere over at Washington Hockey Daily. Enjoy the game, and Let's Go Caps!

Daily Awards

• Hart: Henrik Zetterberg (3G, including game-winner, A, 6 SOG)
• Ross: Henrik Zetterberg, Pavel Datsyuk (4 points each)
  
• Norris: Dion Phaneuf (G, 3 SOG, 5 hits)
  
• Vezina: Martin Brodeur (26-save shutout win)
  
• Richard: Henrik Zetterberg (3G)
  
• Calder: Daniel Girardi (2A, +1)
  
• Aiken: Steve Valiquette (L, 2 goals allowed on 8 shots against in 19:24 of relief work)

Wednesday Roundup/Caps 5, Lightning 2

[SeSo Open Thread]

For a young team, confidence is often everything. The Caps jumped out to a 4-0 lead, thanks to a snow-balling amount of confidence after scoring the game's first goal. But after the Tampa scored the first goal of the third period, one could see doubt creeping into the Caps' collective mind. When Tampa scored a second time, the Caps confidence was completely shot and the team was skating around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off.

Luckily, Olie Kolzig is a veteran goalie who is nearly immune to such lapses in confidence. Facing a whopping 50 shots on goal, Kolzig was only beaten twice as he led to the Caps to their first win in seven games.

In addition to Kolzig's brilliant effort, the team got secondary scoring (three of the team's four lines potted goals), and great penalty-killing (including a Boyd Gordon shortie). Read all about it from whatever source you want at Washington Hockey Daily, but I found this excerpt from The Peerless Prognosticator particularly interesting:

The number that sticks in The Peerless’ head this morning is this one . . .

81

That represents the total of shots on goal, missed shots, and shots blocked by Capitals. That’s approximately one shot sent toward the net every 45 seconds. And let’s put that number in further perspective. Last night, the Milwaukee Bucks scored more points in an NBA game than any other team – 109. In doing so, they took 85 shots from the floor (we don’t include free throws for this comparison, since the clock is stopped for those instances). The Tampa effort was as close to a run-and-gun NBA game as you’re likely to find.

Rink reader Tim also pointed me to these numbers from the good folks at Elias:

Alexander Ovechkin scored a goal, his 10th of November, in Washington's 5-2 win over the Lightning. It's already the third calendar month in which Ovechkin has scored 10 or more goals; he also did so in January and March. Since Ovechkin entered the league as a rookie last October, the only other NHL player to record three 10-goal months is Jonathan Cheechoo.

Olaf Kolzig stopped 48 of 50 Tampa Bay shots on goal to lead the Capitals to a 5-2 win over the Lightning. Kolzig is 4-0-1 this season in the five games in which he's made 40 or more saves. The Islanders' Mike Dunham and the Blues' Manny Legace are the only other NHL goaltenders with even two such wins this season.

Next up for the Caps, Dallas and the return of favorite son Jeff Halpern on Thursday night. I'm already getting a little verklempt.

Elsewhere 'Round the Rinks:

• Pens fans are so totally awesome.
• Ever wonder if your friend the Thrasher fan is talking too much trash? Well, he probably is.

Daily Awards

• Hart: Olie Kolzig (W, 48 saves on 50 shots against in 5-2 win at Tampa)
• Ross: Marian Hossa (4 points)
• Norris: Dion Phaneuf (G, A, +1)
• Vezina: Cristobal Huet (36-save shootout shutout win)
• Richard: Bobby Holik, Adam Hall, Colby Armstrong (2G each)
• Calder: Paul Stastny (G, A)
• Aiken: Johan Holmqvist (L, 3 goals allowed on 13 shots in 36:29 of work)

The Hits Keep On Comin'

The other day I referenced Alex Ovechkin's hit(s) on Dion Phaneuf. Here's part of the shift I was talking about:

"Eastern Conference Patsies"

The sky is falling up in Southern Alberta and a Calgary Sun columnist that apparently makes Dave Fay look like Kelly Ripa has already stuck a fork in the Flames' season. Along the way, he casts aspersions on not only the hometown team, but also some of their opponents:

The scariest part of the Flames' dreadful start is the club opened the season with one of the easiest schedules in the league. In response, half their losses came against Eastern Conference patsies such as... Washington.

"Eastern Conference patsies," eh? I bet if you were to poll Eastern Conference GMs, coaches and players not a single one of them would use the word "patsies" to describe the Caps. And I'm certain that if you asked Dion Phaneuf and his Flames teammates for their thoughts, you wouldn't hear that word either.

The Caps gave Calgary sixty minutes of hell the other night - the kind of game that Calgary would play back in 2003-04 en route to the Stanley Cup Finals - and deserve more respect than this.

Hat tip to TANK1 for the link.

Tuesday Roundup/Caps 4, Flames 2

[NHL.com Recap - Official Scoresheet - Official Super Stats]

It's hard to put your finger on precisely what led to a Capitals performance in Calgary last night that was 180 degrees from Saturday night's effort in Edmonton. It could have been that they battled for every puck like it was the seventh game of the Stanley Cup Finals. It could have been that I was wearing my Kris Beech Calgary Hitmen jersey (yes, really). It could have been the Willie Nelson, it could have been the wine. Whatever it was, it worked and produced the Caps' most complete 60-minute effort of the season and a very satisfying win.

Olie Kolzig was sharp, Richard Zednik had his best game of the season (even before his two goals), and Alex Ovechkin hit everything that moved (including Dion Phaneuf twice on one shift early). With the exception of the worst Shaone Morrisonn decision/pass of all-time (and that's saying something) and a breakdown in coverage as Kristian Huselius danced around the top of the Washington zone, the Caps played a nearly picture-perfect road game and now get to come home having earned five points in four games including bookend wins in Colorado and Calgary on this season-long road trip.

The WaPo's recap is here, and the WTimes... well, the game ended past Dave Fay's bed time, I guess.

Great road trip, and we're left with a couple questions: Was this the beginning of one of Zednik's famed hot streaks? And did anyone miss Steve "healthy scratch" Eminger?

Daily Awards

• Hart: Richard Zednik (2G, including GWG, A, +2, 8 SOG)
• Ross: Mats Sundin, Keith Tkachuk, Richard Zednik (3 points each)
  
• Norris: Brent Sopel (2G, +2, 4 SOG)
  
• Vezina: Robert Esche (26-save shutout win)
  
• Richard: Peter Forsberg, Darcy Tucker, Brent Sopel (2G each)
  
• Calder: Dustin Penner (G, A, +1)
  
• Aiken: J.-S. Giguere (W, 5 goals allowed on 24 shots against)
  

Wednesday Roundup/Caps 4, Lightning 1

[Boxscore - Recap]

Before I get into the recap of last night's game, you may recall that yesterday I mentioned the Asian guy who rocked the arena with his smooth dance moves during The Hockey Song. Well, through the magic of the internets I can now show you the video (though it doesn't do the performance justice, since it was the surprise of the whole thing that made it so great). Still, here it is. Enjoy.

Now on to last night's action on the ice and what a way to end the season for the Caps. The closest the Caps could come to playing spoiler on Tuesday night was to beat the Lightning in their own building and force them to play first place Ottawa (against whom the Lightning were 0-4-0 during the regular season and were outscored 16-6) in the first round of the playoffs rather than the Candycanes (against whom Tampa ran up a very impressive 5-2-1 record).

Mission accomplished.

The Caps got great goaltending from Brent Johnson and a couple of goals from captain Jeff Halpern en route to a 4-1 win in Sunrise. Interestingly, according to the WaPo it may very well have been the last game in a Caps uniform for both of the unrestricted free agents. The win gave the Caps an even 70 points on the season and ends the year with three straight division wins, victories in four of the team's last five games overall and a 7-3-3 record in the team's final 13 games. I'll have a more complete season review in the days ahead, but certainly the way this team ended its season is encouraging. I, for one, can't wait for next year.

On a sad note, The Rink would like to pass along our condolences to Olie Kolzig and his family who lost Olie's father late Tuesday night. According to the WTimes,

Axel Kolzig, the 64-year-old father of Washington Capitals goaltender Olie Kolzig, died Monday night of an apparent massive heart attack in his Union Bay, British Columbia, home.

Axel Kolzig watched his son win his 20th game of the season earlier in the evening on television and turned on his computer to read about his son's victory on the Internet. His wife, Renata, discovered him shortly thereafter.

All of Caps Nation's thoughts and prayers are with you, 'Zilla, and I'm sure your father couldn't have been prouder of you as a hockey player or, more importantly, as a human being.

Thread of the Day: Official End Of The Season Thread

Elsewhere 'Round the Rinks:

• WashingtonCaps.com has a nice thank you message for the team's fans on its front page.
  
• Do you get the sense that no one - especially within the Southeast Division - likes Bob Hartley and his team of hot dogs and thugs the Atlanta Thrashers? According to the WaPo,

  After beating Atlanta on Monday, both [Capitals Head Coach Glen] Hanlon and [General Manager George] McPhee received phone calls from their Tampa Bay counterparts, John Tortorella and Jay Feaster, respectively, thanking them for defeating the Thrashers. The Capitals' victory clinched a playoff berth for the Lightning.

  For some reason, I don't think that call would have been made had the Caps locked up a playoff spot for Tampa by defeating, say, the Leafs.
  
• In a successful attempt to draw attention to his column by writing something stupid, CBS Sportsline's Wes Goldstein thinks Dion Phaneuf should win the Calder Trophy, primarily because the two forwards most often mentioned for the award played for horrendous teams while Phaneuf's Flames are a contender built on defense and he's a defenseman. Huh? Don't get me wrong - Phaneuf is a great player who had a great year. But we're supposed to be more impressed by a blueliner that fit in on one of the best defensive teams in hockey (a Stanley Cup finalist, no less) than by the 3rd-best rookie point and goal totals ever or the youngest player to hit the century mark in points? I, for one, am not buying it.
• If you like numbers, the NHL has some it's crowing about, namely those related to attendance and scoring.
  
• Happy 19th Birthday Maria Sharapova. What, that's not hockey related?

Daily Awards

• Hart: Brian Gionta (2 goals and an assist in the most incredible game of the night and win streak of the year)
  
• Ross: Paul Kariya, Mats Sundin (4 points each)
  
• Norris: Mike Van Ryn (2 goals, including the game-winner, +1, in 2-1 win)
  
• Vezina: Martin "The Good" Biron (33-save shutout win in Carolina)
  
• Richard: Paul Kariya (3 goals)
  
• Calder: Sidney Crosby (Goal, assist)
  
• Aiken: Chris Osgood (Loss, 6 goals allowed on 30 shots against)
  

Tuesday Roundup/'Canes 6, Caps 5 (OT)

[Boxscore - Recap]

The Caps finished their seven-game road trip last night in Raleigh with a 6-5 overtime loss to the host Hurricanes. Despite finishing the trip with a 3-1-3 record, including 2-0-1 against the Southeast Division champ 'Canes, last night's game stung, as the Caps grabbed a pair of first period leads, then fell behind 4-2 during a horrid second period only to tie the game at four and then at five in the third period before losing on a powerplay goal in overtime after failing to score on a 5-on-3 advantage of their own in the closing moments of regulation (I can draw a diagram of that last sentence if it would help).

As in the previous three games against Carolina, the Caps did a great job of handling the duo of Baby Face (0 points in his last four games against the Caps) and Baby Food (.831 save percentage in the last four Carolina/Washington tilts), but got beaten by perennial thorn-in-the-side Butt Fugly (another three points last night) and the recently rehabilitated Josef Vasicek, who had a pair of goals to match his pair of assists. It certainly didn't help matters for the Caps that they played the whole night with only 10 forwards (Matt Pettinger was unable to play after warm-ups and the Caps have been skating 11 forwards and 7 defensemen lately to begin with) and played half the second period without another forward, captain Jeff Halpern, who was in the penalty box serving fighting majors for beating down a slash-happy Baby Face and later tussling with a creaky Doug Weight, but excuses are, as they say, like Tony Kornheisers (more on him later). The Caps simply didn't get it done last night, whether it was getting the big save, clearing a rebound, scoring on a gift-wrapped 5-on-3... Seventy-four games into the season and the fact remains: the effort and attitude are there but the talent and results simply are not.

The WTimes recaps the game here, the WaPo here. Speaking of the WaPo, I wonder how Caps beat writer Tarik El-Bashir feels when he busts his tail covering the team for a paper that prints an article entitled "He Shoots, He Scores, America Snores" (web-titled "NHL? Nobody Cares"). Yes, hockey fans, Tony Kornheiser has once again decided to trash our beloved sport for no apparent reason. Eric over at OWO takes him to task on it, but I wanted to make a couple of points myself.

Kornheiser begins beating his dead horse with the bold assertion that "Hockey is dead" (interesting, as attendance is way up league-wide over the 2003-04 season), then backtracks by qualifying his claim with "At least it's dead right here, right now." Looking merely at ticket sales, that would be hard to argue, as the Caps have lost the second-most ground at the box office over two years ago of any team in the League. But let's not forget that two years ago, the Caps had big expectations and big draws Jaromir Jagr, Peter Bondra, Robert Lang, and Sergei Gonchar for more than half the season, whereas this year the team was expected to be awful and, despite exceeding those expectations (and the record of the 2003-04 squad) and boasting arguably the League's most exciting player, the public perception of this team has been too much to overcome. Kornheiser continues:

The Caps have played 74 games. They only have eight left, and they've been playing since October. And when was the last time they came up at all in conversation? Not just the Caps, any NHL team? For five bucks, name the coach of the Columbus Blue Jackets, I dare you.

Obviously I'm not a good judge of this, since the Caps come up in nearly every conversation I have, but his "name the coach" example is ridiculous. How many people could name the head coach of the NBA's Atlanta Hawks? Or the manager of the Colorado Rockies (the baseball team)? Or the head coach of the New Orleans Saints of the mighty NFL? Are those sports dead too? For the record, Tony, Gerard Gallant is the head coach of the Blue Jackets. You owe me five bucks.

Hockey is so dead in America, the players may as well still be locked out.

See attendance figures, as there are millions of fans who will disagree with you. In fact, more people have already attended NHL games this year (18,954,089) than attended NFL games last season (17,200,324) and ten of the NHL's 30 teams are playing to capacity (or more) crowds, while 12 of the NFL's 32 franchise did the same in 2005. The article goes on with gratuitous shots at the local team, its star and the League on the whole, and maybe later I'll discuss it further. But for now there are two major points I'd like to make.

First, who is Kornheiser's audience here? Presumably hockey is so dead that the only people who will read this piece are the dozen or so hockey fans out there who read the WaPo. In that case, TK is telling his audience that they're a bunch of dolts who would be better off waiting for parachute pants to come back than for the NHL to be resurrected. On the other hand, if casual sports fans care enough about hockey to read this drivel, it seems proof positive that there is interest in the sport and that perhaps it simply needs a marketing makeover. So take your pick - either Kornheiser is condescending to and insulting his readers (and colleagues) or he's dead wrong on the central premise of his article. Journalism at its finest either way.

The second point is more narrowly focused on the Caps. With just eight games remaining in a season that has long been about goals other than those measured by wins and losses, what purpose is served by writing this article now? The Caps are rebuilding and Ted Leonsis, George McPhee et. al. are doing it the right way, and that takes time. Of course they're not winning right now, and attendance reflects that. But with the team's best player chasing 50 goals, 100 points and the Calder Trophy, why pen such a mean-spirited piece of garbage? Why not write an article about how this team is headed in the right direction and how people should take notice and get in on the ground floor? Then again, why would I expect Kornheiser to start being positive or constructive now after 20-plus years of pissing in people's Cheerios?

Thread of the Day: Uh Oh, Tony K. On The Caps And Hockey (Caps fans react to TK's latest)

Elsewhere 'Round the Rinks:

• Cristobal Huet and Steven Reinprecht are your Defensive and Offensive Players of the Week, respectively, while Ray Emery and Jaromir Jagr are the Defensive and Offensive Players of the Month, respectively, for March. The key to Jagr's success this year? He's found that he's inexplicably drinking a lot more Gatorade (tip of the cap to Eric at OWO for that last link).
• Happy Birthdays to former three-time Jack Adams Trophy winner Pat Burns (54), Hall-of-Famer Dale Hawerchuk (43) and Roberto Luongo (27).
  

Daily Awards

• Hart: Mathieu Garon (23-save shutout win over Vancouver keeps LA's playoff hopes alive)
  
• Ross: Josef Vasicek (4 points)
  
• Norris: Marc-Andre Bergeron (Goal, 2 assists, +2)
  
• Vezina: Miikka Kiprusoff (Shootout loss, 41 saves on 42 shots against through OT)
  
• Richard: Josef Vasicek, Ray Whitney, Rico Fata, Dany Heatley, Vincent Lecavalier, Rob Blake (2 goals each)
  
• Calder: Dion Phaneuf (Goal, 5 shots on goal, hit, 2 takeaways, 0 giveaways, 3 blocked shots)
  
• Aiken: Curtis Joseph (Loss, 6 goals against on 25 shots in 39:48 before being pulled)