Death Of A Salesman's Grasp Of Reality

There's an old joke that goes something like "How can you tell when a salesperson is lying? His lips are moving." Suffice it to say, salesmen aren't generally known for their honesty (and it's not just the guys peddling used cars).

For example, you probably wouldn't expect an open and honest assessment of his product's value from a guy trying to sell tickets to see the worst team in baseball. Still, I can't let this line from Washington Nationals Account Executive for Group Ticket Sales Michael Benko go without comment:

"Here, in Washington, D.C., I’d bet we’re about to lock in at No. 2 of the four spots here," Benko said. "We’re behind the Redskins (of the NFL), but we’re more exciting and promising than the Wizards (NBA) and the Capitals (NHL)."

Uh huh.

"More exciting" than a pair of winning teams that boast the NHL's eighth-best offense and the NBA's fourteenth-best offense (with its best offensive threat suiting up only 13 times all season)... despite scoring fewer runs than any team in basebal, having the worst team batting average in the Majors and losing more than seven out of every eleven games.

"More ... promising" than a playoff team that has the reigning NHL MVP and has had rookie of the year finalists in two of the past three seasons and an NBA team that has made the playoffs in each of the last four seasons... but hey, Ryan Zimmerman is pretty good.

Yes, the Nats should be locking in that No. 2 spot any day now (just ask these guys), considering that they're filling their brand spankin' new ballpark to just over 70% capacity... which is only double digits less than their NHL and NBA counterparts. Hell, why stop at No. 2? I bet the Redskins are checking their proverbial rear-view mirrors at this very moment and seeing Dmitri Young and friends coming at 'em with a head of steam (frightening visual of a world class athlete, I know).

But let's cut the ticket rep some slack - he's only repeating the company line, which is probably to be expected from a guy who fondly recalls his mother telling him he "should get a Master’s degree because, as she said, 'that’s what it seems everyone is doing these days.'"

You know what else everyone is doing these days? Not going to Nationals games. They're No. 2, alright... but it's probably not how Benko meant it.

Backstrom's First Pitch

In case you're wondering what it looked like, here's a still of Nicklas Backstrom firing up the ol' jelly rifle before yesterday's Nats/O's game (he was sporting the #19 sweater).

Curiously, Nick throws right but shoots left (similar to Alex Ovechkin, who throws left and shoots right).

Backstrom To Throw Out First Pitch

The Caps' new Swedish sensation, Nicklas Backstrom, will be introduced to his soon-to-be adopted hometown not on Monday as previously expected, but on Sunday when he throws out the first pitch before the Nats/Orioles game.

You'll recall that both Chris Clark and Alex Ovechkin (pictured) have previously done the honors, begging the question, "What does Olie Kolzig have to do to get an invite?"

It Could Be Worse

The baseball season's not a week old and Chris over at Capitol Punishment (the Nats blog) has already had just about enough with the Nationals organization, starting at the top and likely ending at the parking folks in Lot 8 at RFK. Read all about it in his well-titled post "Two-Bit Crapbag Operation."