Update (10:24): Gary Bettman has elevated the NHL Public Relations Disaster Advisory level to "Severe."
Update (10:28): President Bush has ordered flags to fly at half-staff tomorrow in recognition of a national day of mourning.
Update (10:31): Evgeni Malkin has begun sitting shiva.
Update (10:38): U2, Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen (sans E Street Band) are now confirmed for Saturday night's "Concert for Sidney" telethon.
Update (10:42): Barring last minute intervention from the Supreme Court, Paul Ranger is to go before a firing squad at dawn.
Update (10:48): Kanye West has issued a statement that reads "Sidney Crosby doesn't care about black people." Huh.
Update (10:51): Elton John has just released "Candle in the Wind 2008" in tribute.
Alright, I need to go drown my sorrows. Follow George's lead in the comments and keep me posted, will ya?
30 comments:
OMG. Funniest. Thing. EVER!
Well played.
Nice job photoshopping Crosby's name over Alexander Semin's!
So the season's cancelled then? A shame.
10:52 Rumors have started circulating that the FBI, the CIA, and the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS), are collaborating an a special investigation targeting Alex Ovechkin and a possible conspiracy. Ted Leonsis and Alexander Semin have been been subpoenaed for questioning.
Why would Sasha Semin need to be subpoenaed? He can't speak english!
Like his goal scoring he only speaks English when feels like it
I hope he didn't have to wait 25 minutes for their team doctor to show up.
Tough break for the Pens. Who's taking his spot in the All-Star Game? At any rate, the NHL needs to do something otherwise the momentum for the NHL's rise to popularity will be lost. Doesn't 87 have a body double or something?
Hot dog night in Jersey this Saturday!
Let's hope Ovie replaces him at all star game, since he should've been there in the first place!
Perfect!! Thats all...
They should send Malkin to replace him. He should've been there in the first place, and it definitely would make sense to send him now.
Has a candlelight vigil been scheduled, yet?
Oh man, that threat level image is hilarious. Well played, sir.
Yea definentily malkin, he deserves it and they will probally want to did it because crosbys a pen/he's a pen etc.....as far as the starting lineup, it must be ovechkin, ovechkin was 5th in voting I believe but only behind Briere who did NOT make the all star team.
I've gotta disagree - Kovalchuk will get the start. Leading the League in goals, tied for the lead in points, game's in Atlanta... take it to the bank.
Does this mean there is going to be another lockout?
hope Staal takes the opportunity to show what he can really do. that kid is a great player.
Nicely done! Of course now I'll have Van Halen tunes stuck in my head all day.
Update 9:42 AM (1/19) Barbaro/Crosby was euthanized today after complications from his gruesome breakdown at last year's Preakness/last night in Pittsburgh, ending an eight-month/hour ordeal that made him even more of a hero than he was as a champion on the track/ice.
(that woulda worked better had the comments permitted the s tag for strikethroughs... ah well)
10:37 AM Gary Bettman has announced that, with NHLPA approval, until Cindy Crosby returns to action, only primary assists will be awarded on goals scored.
Oh man.
That hurts.
Note to self: Gone home and check the Diver Down Album cover...I'm assuming it was Sid the Kid on Clarinet...
Funniest blog ever!
Update 3:03 pm: Yinzers have begun sacrificing their most beautiful virgins to the hockey gods. As of this moment no deaths have been reported.
Update 4:12 pm: 289 goes back to photoshopping Brett Hull's foot being not in the crease.
Taking "his spot" in the All-Star Game?!! Malkin? Ovie? Puleeeze. Whattya talking? They are going to cancel it.
Because well, like duh.
Posts like these remind me why I love your blog, JP. Classic.
some of the more creative crosby bashings. good work lol. (i'm even a pens fan haha)
Sidney Crosby also broke his back during last night's game from carrying the league.
That last post is downright idiotic. I didn't think your blog attracted people like that, JP.
That PR levels grid and corresponding updates are so funny because it is not too far off from the truth.
So much for the All-Star game, eh?
Post a Comment