They Grow Up So Fast...

When my wife told me the utterly unsurprising news that the multi-untalented Lindsay Lohan had been arrested for drunk driving for the second time in the past two months (a time span during which she had spent six weeks in rehab), I couldn't help but shake my head and think back to a more pure and virtuous time for LiLo, a time spent gyrating as the opening act to a throng of transvestites dancing around a ball-gagged Brendan Shanahan (surprisingly, the link is SFW).

Now, sadly, that innocence is lost, never to return.

Sigh.

Lohan-ny, Shanny And Trannies

Thanks to The Forechecker for your "no-introduction-needed" hockey story of the day:

March 20, 2007 -- Lindsay Lohan continued her New York party over the weekend.

On Saturday night, she and her pals, deejay Samantha Ronson and p.r. powerhouse
Lisette Sand-Freeman, hit the Beatrice Inn before going to The Box at 1 a.m. - where Lohan got up on the stage and sang while doing a "stripper dance" to thunderous applause. She got off easy - after her, New York Ranger Brendan Shanahan was blindfolded and ball-gagged as trannies danced around him.

I have yet to receive confirmation as to whether or not Jaromir Jagr was one of the above-referenced trannies, but in case you're wondering what that would look like...