Earlier today, Bugs and Cranks (via Deadspin) lamented the fact that Major League Baseball has been Dick-less for more than a decade:
Once upon a time, Dick was a common name. In fact, it was so common that when "Bewitched" needed to replace Dick York in 1969, it replaced him with Dick Sargent. Back in the 60s, Dicks were everywhere, including Major League Baseball. From Dick Allen to Dick Groat, Dick Brown to Dick Green, you couldn’t watch a game without coming across at least one Dick. Nowadays, however, there’s not a single, solitary Dick in the Major Leagues.The NHL now faces a similar Dick shortage.
So, where’d all the Dicks go?
But that wasn't always the case. In the NHL's early days, there were plenty of Dicks to be found. Dick Irvin and Dick Duff are Hall of Famers. Dick Gamble won a Stanley Cup. Hell, the Chicago Blackhawks had both a Harry Dick and a Dick Butler in the late '40s (I guess they figured that with the former they needed the latter).
But as the name has fallen out of favor over time, it has predictibly drained the sports world of these finely named gentlemen, and hockey has not been immune (thankfully, we'll always have these), leaving us with this plea:
Help us, Dick Axelsson. You're our only hope.And you thought the answer to the titular question was "Off To Russia."