Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Where Have All The Dicks Gone?

When Dick Tarnstrom headed back to Sweden earlier this summer to finish up his hockey career in his native Sweden, he left a void not only in the Columbus Blue Jackets power play, but in the NHL itself. You see, Tarnstrom was the League's only Dick.

Earlier today, Bugs and Cranks (via Deadspin) lamented the fact that Major League Baseball has been Dick-less for more than a decade:
Once upon a time, Dick was a common name. In fact, it was so common that when "Bewitched" needed to replace Dick York in 1969, it replaced him with Dick Sargent. Back in the 60s, Dicks were everywhere, including Major League Baseball. From Dick Allen to Dick Groat, Dick Brown to Dick Green, you couldn’t watch a game without coming across at least one Dick. Nowadays, however, there’s not a single, solitary Dick in the Major Leagues.

So, where’d all the Dicks go?
The NHL now faces a similar Dick shortage.

But that wasn't always the case. In the NHL's early days, there were plenty of Dicks to be found. Dick Irvin and Dick Duff are Hall of Famers. Dick Gamble won a Stanley Cup. Hell, the Chicago Blackhawks had both a Harry Dick and a Dick Butler in the late '40s (I guess they figured that with the former they needed the latter).

But as the name has fallen out of favor over time, it has predictibly drained the sports world of these finely named gentlemen, and hockey has not been immune (thankfully, we'll always have these), leaving us with this plea:
Help us, Dick Axelsson. You're our only hope.
And you thought the answer to the titular question was "Off To Russia."

14 comments:

Andi said...

XD Awwww. JP misses his Dicks. (One wonders about there being more than one.

Hey, it's still hockey-related. After all, cheap and immature innuendo is one of the joys of hockey.

Scott said...

There seems to be an abundance of swedish dicks. Must be because of these

Scott said...

I Mean This

Scott said...

dammit i give up stupid hyperlinks...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQhscuOoAvg

thedope said...

In the sports world, no Dick measures up to Dick Trickle.

ESPN loved Dick. They still do.

After each race in the 80s/90s, they would make a point to show how Dick finished.

He was a considerate driver, always letting other drivers in the race finish before him. As it turns, out Dick almost always finished in the rear of the pack.

nuftjedi said...

LOL!

zelda said...

But Dick still stands tall in Germany

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Esslingen-Dick-Schornstein.jpg

~Mark said...

JP, you often seem to go to great lengths just to show a picture of a hot girl, or in this case, have a title with a bad pun. This behavior is completely, utterly, without question...hysterical. :-)

Hooks Orpik said...

"You see, Tarnstrom was the League's only Dick."

So Sean Avery got a full-time job with Vogue magazine, yes?

DrinkingPartner said...

Everyone:

www.ihaveadick.com

Go there. Enjoy it.

(It's not porn.)

Anonymous said...

Sean Avery will fill the Dick quota.

JP said...

In other Dick news today... this.

Dan, Jr. said...

There's still at least one Dick that is still loved in Overlea, MD.

Shaggy said...

The question is, how long will the NHL remain "Dick"-less?
Will Ricky Dipietro assume a new moniker in a league bereft of Dicks?
Only time will tell -and yes, it will be a long summer.