Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Key To The City Was Nice, But...

While I recognize that one player capturing a handful of individual awards doesn't quite deserve the same level of celebration as an enormous international soccer win, I'm still disappointed that my fellow D.C.-area residents didn't honor Alex Ovechkin's hardware haul the way Muscovites celebrated Russia's Euro 2008 quarterfinal win this past weekend:
Moscow is naked, drunk, all covered in broken glass.... [Tverskaya St.] is cordoned off, girls are lying on car hoods and roofs, people are attacking empty garbage and dump trucks, getting inside, beating on them, screaming; all guys are naked, some of them have beautiful bodies; girls at the sidewalks take their t-shirts off and walk around topless; everyone is impossibly happy, carrying each other on the shoulders, kissing, running to hug with strangers and drivers of the cars passing by; nothing like this has ever happened before, traffic rules are gone to hell, a road hysteria has begun.
Oh well. At least we now know what will be expected of us when Alex and his comrades bring the Cup to D.C.

H/t Deadspin

7 comments:

Garrett said...

When the Capitals win the Stanley Cup, I don't think anyone would want to see me naked in public. My wife included.

Andi said...

I can just see it now. In America, there'd be half a dozen panicked people in Weight Watchers and Gold's Gym shirts frantically passing out flyers reading "BE NAKED IN PUBLIC! TRY GOLD'S FOR ONE MONTH FREE!"

Anonymous said...

Will Miss Milbank be there?

The Peerless said...

People are attacking garbage cans and dump trucks? Imagine what folks will "attack" when the Caps win a Stanley Cup...parking meters and farecard machines.

Andi said...

@the peerless: In D.C.? They'll attack each other. :D

WufPirate said...

"You think KFC is still open?"

~Mark said...

Maybe this will motivate Ovy to win the Cup here...until he realizes how civil the celebrations are.